


better for me, better for you

by angelica_church_schuyler, petermaldonado



Category: American Vandal (TV)
Genre: Angst, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Semi Slow Burn, slightly ooc at the start but thats for the plot ok, they are complete idiots tm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 02:13:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16714591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelica_church_schuyler/pseuds/angelica_church_schuyler, https://archiveofourown.org/users/petermaldonado/pseuds/petermaldonado
Summary: "You wanna do it then? Like, kiss? To see if you like it? It doesn't really mean anything, I mean its 2018 people kiss their friends all the time..""Sure, but we have to pause this stupid movie. I'm not making out to High School Musical." Peter said, taking off his galsses and setting them in the beside table."Okay, Valid."-Peter and Sam decide to have a summer long hookup, no strings attached, right before they both move away for college. What could go wrong?





	better for me, better for you

Summer was hot, dizzy and intense. 

Peter and Sam held a ritual during the summer months. As long as both of them were free, they’d meet weekly for a movie night. Neither of them can remember when they started this tradition, but it was one they held close and dear to their hearts. Even after graduating high school, the pair was just as adamant to keep movie night alive. So, Sam couldn’t help but feel a smile creep on his lips once he heard those three familiar knocks on his front door.  
He was greeted by the familiar sight of his best friend, holding a bag of popcorn in one hand and a stack of obscure indie movies they both knew they wouldn’t end up watching in the other.

“Why did you bring all those?” Sam asked. “You know it’s my turn to pick the movie, right?”

“Well, yeah,” Peter shrugged. “It’s in case you pick a bad movie.”

“A bad- wow, Peter. I’ve never picked a bad movie in the history of movie night, so fuck you, and frankly, I’m offended that you would even think I would.”

“Uh, you literally made me watch Paul Blart 1 and 2 in one night, so you’re full of shit Sam.” Peter retorted, but was unable to hide his grin. He brushed past Sam and made his way upstairs, as if it was his own home. He’d been coming here so many years it almost felt like it was. 

“So what’d you pick this time?”

Sam didn't respond, which solidified Peter's beliefs that this was going to be terrible. Sam entered his room, gesturing to the preloaded movie on his laptop, grinning back at Peter.

“High School Musical 3, a classic.” 

That last comment earned a scoff from Peter. Though he would never admit it, he didn't actually hate Sam's choice. Whether he liked it or not, High School Musical was an integral part of his childhood. Despite containing some questionable acting, Peter couldn't deny that it carried some catchy tunes too. 

“Ugh, fine. You'd think for someone so interested in theatre, you'd have a little more taste when it comes to musicals and stuff.” Peter teased, laying down the bag of popcorn and pile of dvds onto the bed, kicking off his shoes.

“Just the fact that I actually like musicals means I have better taste than you.” Sam followed suit, promptly getting into his bed, pulling the laptop near. Peter joined the empty space beside him, grabbing the bag of popcorn before leaning back on the headboard as he waited for his dumb friend to press play on the dumb movie. Peter was in his element. A quiet night, talking shit and watching a stupid movie with Sam? However small and insignificant it seemed, these nights were what Peter looked forward to most.

They’d both watched this movie (usually together) so many times that they barely even had to pay attention anymore, so talking while watching didn’t bother them as much as it would in most movies. About 30 minutes of poetic cinema had passed, and Sam was talking some bullshit about how it was so symbolic, because they had just finished their senior year, and now everything was full circle or something. Peter was half listening to Sam's ramblings, more invested in the bag of popcorn he was almost finished with.

His eyes flickered up to the screen once he heard the beginning bests of ‘'Can I Have This Dance’ start to play. Peter was by no means into romantic cliches, but God, he couldn't deny that what Troy and Gabriella had was pretty sick. Besides the fact that they break up in every single movie, they seemed to be pretty in love. Especially in this scene.

Sam must have been thinking along the same lines as Peter, because of what he said next: “When I watched this as a kid, I always thought high school was gonna be, like, fucking amazing dude. I thought that I'd have a relationship like theirs in like, no time.” He glanced at Peter, who was nodding empathetically, and felt encouraged to continue. “I mean, yeah. It's fictional and shit but it definitely puts messages in your head, right?” 

“Oh, definitely. I mean High School Musical isn't really the root cause of it, but I guess it's just the media in general that gives you the idea that you're supposed to be.. well, experienced before college?”  
Sam nodded enthusiastically, eyes fixated on the screen, watching Troy and Gabriella moved effortlessly. “I guess I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little insecure about it? I mean, yeah I've made out with like, three people, and two of them were just dares at Camp Miniwaka, so I don't really think that counts.” 

“That's still more than me..” Peter grumbled, his hand fiddling with the duvet underneath him. Again, Peter never really thought of himself to be a romantic type at all, but he craved that affection from time to time. 

“Shame dude, we should have practiced with each other.” Sam joked, letting out a little huff of amusement. 

“Well, we could now.”  
Sam all of a sudden felt rigid, his head immediately turning to face Peter's direction. He felt like he definitely misheard what his best friend said. “... What?”  
“I- um.” Oh God, what the fuck did Peter just say. He was usually very methodical, basing his actions on (sometimes) poor judgement, but judgement nonetheless. But he felt like whatever he just said literally slipped out of his mind and into existence, as if his brain was trying it's hardest to screw him over. 

Peter didn’t know exactly how to backtrack effectively in this situation. The room had become thick with tension, caught in Sam's gaze. His chest was pounding, and he was all too aware that he hadn't said anything for a prolonged amount of time. “I just.. uh, well, you were saying that you wanted more experience.. before college? And then when you said that thing about us, I don't know, my brain just kinda uh.. jumped to that. And I said it.” 

Sam just stared, not really knowing what to make of Peter's response. It felt as if he was just dancing around what he had said more than anything else, which made Sam wonder why Peter was getting so.. nervous about it. 

“Are you gay? Cause uh, if you are, that's fine. Obviously. You know I'm bi and stuff so like .. doesn't really matter to me.” 

Peter had to stop his body from physically wincing at the question, his sexuality never being the topic for discussion before. Of course Peter didn't care that Sam was bi, but in terms of his own sexuality, Peter just didn't know. Girls were pretty, soft and intriguing. But Peter would be lying to himself if he denied the fact that most of his thoughts revolved around guys.

 

“I don't know? Maybe.” Peter shifted, his eyes looking anywhere but Sam's face. He couldn't possibly decipher what Sam was thinking right now. He could feel Sam's eyes on him, the uncertainty and tension being almost too much to bare. Of course High School Musical was still playing in the background, just to top it all off for Peter.

Slowly, Sam moved himself closer to Peter. He pursed his lips, as if thinking through the whole situation. “You wanna do it then? Like, kiss? To see if you like it? It doesn't really mean anything, I mean it's 2018, people kiss their friends all the time..” 

The alarm and panic which initially set off in Peter's stomach strangely began to subside the more Sam talked. It wasn't a big thing. He was speaking as of it was as casual as a normal movie night. Sam's way of grounding everything down into simple pieces was always a part of why Peter thought they were so close. They complimented each other well. What one lacked, the other made up.

Peter's body began to relax, and he finally managed to look at his friend. Sam, who was smiling at him with such a glimmer of charm and his heart definitely not flutter at that. Alright, maybe Peter wanted to do this. 

“Sure, but we have to pause this stupid movie. I'm not making out to High School Musical.” Peter said, taking off his glasses and setting them on the bedside table. 

“Okay, valid.” Sam snickered, hitting the spacebar on his laptop to pause the movie. He turned back to face Peter, and shit, his glasses were off. Yeah, Peter was just Sam's friend, but he wasn't blind. He always thought that Peter had the prettiest eyes, easy to get lost in.

Sam gingerly sat himself in front of Peter, his eyes scanning and studying the features of his face, his expression. His pupils were dilated, and he looked a little nervous, but that was a given. Sam slowly inched closer, and their lips met.

Okay, it was pretty bad. The angle was way off and it was very, very chaste. Comparable to the way you'd kiss your aunty when you’d see her during the holidays just, longer. Sam pulled back and flashed an amused smile and Peter had to refrain himself from laughing. It was weird, but it was comfortable. 

“Lets- kay. Let's try again.” Peter spoke this time, earning an enthusiastic nod from Sam accompanied with a small chuckle. 

“I, okay. This might be weird but the fact we are doing this is weird, so fuck it I guess.” Sam muttered, more to himself than to Peter.

Peter watched as Sam scooted himself even closer towards him, then propping himself up on his knees. He moved his legs around Peter so that Peter's left thigh was in between them, hovering over his best friend. Peter felt the bundle of nerves rise inside him again as he gazed up at Sam, who was still unfairly handsome even at this angle. Their faces were merely inches apart, and both were careful to make sure the angle was right this time. 

When their lips locked for the second time, God, it was a big improvement. Though it was still soft, reserved. The more it continued, the braver they both became. Sam slipped his arms around Peter's neck, Peter taking note and letting his hands rest on Sam's hips.

Moments later, they parted briefly, eyes large and breathing heavy. Though only fleeting, because Sam breathed out a “Dude, let's keep going,” before drawing Peter in again.  
Peter had no objections to that. 

The more time that passed by, the more the intensity grew. The heat emitting between them was almost overwhelming. Peter felt like his world was spinning, and the only thing given him stability right now was Sam's kiss. He sure as hell never had an experience like this before, and he sure as hell never thought it would be with Sam Ecklund. He felt brave and comfortable enough to let his hand roam, to explore. Sam didn't really seem to mind either, responding with small but encouraging noises that Peter would certainly think about again. 

Once they had toned it down, and gradually stopped, they were both undeniably giddy. Grinning at one another in disbelief but glee. It was probably the weirdest situation they'd ever been in, but it felt so right. Fitting, almost, as if it was always inevitable.

Sam eventually moved to sit next to Peter, and Peter doesn't think he can recall a time Sam looked so pleased. 

“That was- you're better than I'd thought you be.” Sam grinned. “Though, you could go easy on the saliva.”

It was obviously a joke, inferred by the tone, so Peter responded with a playful scoff. “Fuck you, dude. You didn't seem to mind it at all.” 

“Mm,” Sam stood up, a coy smile still on his face. They were both positively elated, running on pure adrenaline, hormones and a nice endorphin kick. 

“I'm gonna go get some water, man, you want anything?”

Peter shook his head no, and Sam made his way to go get some water.  
Peter's head was positively reeling. He felt drunk. If he felt any doubts over his sexuality before, he felt rest assured now. Each second they spent kissing, Peter felt his apprehension dwindle into nothing. Peter loved kissing guys.

More specifically, Peter loved kissing Sam. 

He didn't let his brain get into exactly what that meant, and instead took the opportunity of Sam's absence to get changed into his PJs. Once Sam came back the tension, thankfully, was diffused. As much as Peter wanted to pick up where they left off, he felt like it was an unspoken agreement that they shouldn't carry it further. 

They talked a little more, discussing inconsequential things as if they didn't spend the past half hour having an intense make out session. The two boys eventually settled into bed, attempting to beckon sleep towards them. Peter noticed that they were closer than usual in comparison to their previous sleepovers, or maybe he was just overthinking it. Nevertheless, he felt compelled to reach out and lay his hand on Sam. Nothing sexual, nothing evocative about it. Just to touch Sam, his best friend. His number one bro. 

Sleep came soon after that, and Peter accepted it more than willingly. He was eager to let his thoughts subside, his hand laying just a fraction away from where Sam rested. 

Neither of them said much the next morning.  
Peter didn't want to admit that there was an a subtle discomfort in the room, out of all the years he was friends with Sam, he couldn't recall a time where he felt out of place with him. They lengthy discussions reduced to vapid small talk. Peter was sure that while both of them were thinking the same thing neither of them would ever say it.

Peter went home earlier than usual, making up a bullshit excuse that his mom wanted him home to clean out the basement. Sam clearly knew it was a lie, but neither of them were willing or ready to confront the events of the previous night. Peter felt strange and little bit wrong all at once, hoping to God he and his dumbass brain hadn’t fucked up the best thing in his life.

Two days went by, and nothing happened. No text, no calls, no tagging each other in stupid memes. Nothing. Peter was beyond a crisis at this point, having secluded himself to the confines of his own bedroom, obsessively checking his phone to see if Sam had reached out to him in any way. Of course he had drafted out various different messages in the notes app, from a long-winded apology to a dumb loss.jpg meme he found on Reddit, which he knew was far too dumb to send at a time like this. 

Peter needed to know how Sam was feeling. The threat of their friendship falling apart felt too imminent. He knew that he has to break the silence, he needed to face the uncertainty no matter how jarring. 

His fingers fumbled out a text message, not in the notes app but directly in the message app. Calm, casual. That's how Peter had to come across. 

Peter: hi dude. how's it going. we haven't talked in a bit. 

Sam: ok seriously??! You haven't talked in two days and that's the first message you send ?  
Peter's brows knotted. Unfair of Sam to pin the blame on him. He could have just as easily sent a text. 

P: you haven't been texting either? after what happened a few nights ago I thought you like, hated me now or something. 

S: ???  
S: dumbass  
S: couldn't hate you if I tried dude you should know that by now . I thought you were going through a gay crisis and I didn't wanna interfere since yknow.. u were with me. You seemed so uncomfortable the day after I figured that I'd just leave you alone for a bit.  
S: Also, about that, I'm really sorry if it made you feel .. idk, uneasy? Like i get it dude. It was dumb and we can just forget abt it

 

Peter couldn't help but be a little touched by that. Sam, as dumb as he could be sometimes, really did have the best intentions out for Peter. Peter just.. misunderstood what the lack of communication was from Sam's point of view. Sam wanted to give him space.

P: I wasn't going through a gay crisis lol but I appreciate the sentiment. I guess I just got freaked out abt you not talking to me, like it was a sign that you hated me now or something. It was stupid.  
P: and uh- don't worry. I actually really enjoyed what we did the other night.

Peter pressed send before his anxiety could stop him. He might as well be daring. Him and Sam have already crossed the metaphorical line that there was on their friendship. Nevertheless, the pool of worry at the pit of his stomach rose which each second that passed. Three grey dots came and went, and Peter was fixated on his phone, chewing hazardly on his lip. 

S: Me too dude  
S: so like. If you're not worrying about it, and we both like doing it.. do you want to keep doing it? Like it's fun and it's practice and it's totally chill bc we’re just two bros who make out sometimes 

P: isn't this just friends with benefits

S: it's kiss your homie hours peter c'mon

P: I mean yeah I'm down as long as nothing gets weird between us 

S: that'll only happen if we let it… which we won't bc this is kinda a sweet deal  
P: god youre so weird  
P: movie at mine tonight?

That's how they slipped into it. A summer with an abundance of movie nights, actually very little movies being watched. Each time that they met they inched further than the last time. Peter had to switch his overthinking brain off every time, because a big part of him wanted this. He wanted to have a fling with his friend that meant nothing. A summer long hook up that made him feel alive and gave him a buzz unlike anything else could.  
He needed to shut off his overthinking brain, screaming at him that this was a bad idea. That he was going to get hurt. That sickeningly logical part of his brain knew he was falling for Sam. He didn't know how to stop it. 

It was one particular night he realised. They were snuggled up together under the blankets watching the few remaining minutes of the movie playing despite having missed the first hour and a half of it. Peter’s eyes were on the laptop, idly trying to follow the plot. He made a dumb joke, something in passing, and waited for a response. Nothing. His head rose from Sam's chest and his eyes flickered up to him. Sam was sleeping. 

Peter had seen Sam sleep, countless times. He'd been having sleepovers with Sam for years after all. But this time, Peter allowed himself to really look at Sam. Their faces were very close in distance, something Peter had become very accustomed to over the past month. Peter's eyes slowly scanned his face. Sam was far too handsome for Peter's good, and Peter couldn’t help but acknowledge the pang he felt in his chest right then. It happened every time Sam made direct eye contact with him, or when Sam gave him affection. It was the gentle forms of intimacy that really got Peter, like Sam casually wrapping his arm around Peter's waist as they fell asleep or mindlessly playing with Peter's hair on the rare occasions they tried to actually watch the movie. 

To Peter, it felt like more than just friends fooling around, but it wasn't.  
Maybe it was the fact that Sam was asleep, Peter didn't know, but he let his guard down. He imagined what it'd be like to have Sam. To call him his boyfriend, to go on real dates and to have something more real and more profound than this. Peter had everything he wanted in Sam. He wanted to kiss Sam whenever he felt like it, not when they decided it was just a good time to hook up. He wanted to go on dates with Sam and write him dumb, affectionate letters about how he's obsessed with his smile and how that stupid joke he made last August about Mr. Baxter still has him cracking up sometimes. 

He wanted Sam, all of him. But Sam just wanted this. Sam wanted no feelings involved.  
Peter let out an exasperated sigh, feeling defeated, finally admitting to himself something he, deep down, knew for a long time. He let his head gently fall back onto Sam's chest, shutting his eyes tight. “Shit.”

 

-

_2nd August 2018_

Sam was tossing and turning all night, his brain refusing to switch off. It was relentless. Thoughts of Peter, only Peter, swarming around in his brain. It felt like an invasion, honestly. No matter how much youtube Sam tried to distract himself with, the thoughts weren't subsiding.  
Sam felt so stupid. He did this to himself. He is frankly mad at his two-month-ago self for not taking present-Sam into consideration when he decided to set up this 'casual’ thing with Peter.  
It was almost funny, in a masochistic, self-loathing sense. The punchline? Sam has been pathetically pining over Peter since sophomore year. Gabi jeered that it's painfully obvious and that she couldn't actually believe that Peter made a five minute segment in his documentary compiling less than compelling evidence to point towards how Sam liked her, when all this time Sam has been into Peter. 

Sam never told Gabi about the ‘movie nights’, ‘cause he was pretty sure that she'd yell at him for starting a 'casual’ thing with Peter. He didn't need that, he was well aware of just how stupid it was.

Peter wanted mindless fun, something he didn't have to think too intensely about but he could get himself lost in. Sam appreciated that and was honestly grateful that this was a positive thing for Peter. The problem was is that it was all that Peter wanted.  
It was the last three weeks before they were separating for college, and Sam was trying his best not to think about it. He was having fun, he loved the fact he had Peter at least in some capacity. To be able to kiss him, hold him, taste him. It was good, but he knew it would never really be enough. 

Three weeks until Peter moves on, starts college and eventually meets some new guy, and Sam is forgotten about. Their summer would just be reduced to a funny memory of Peter's youth. Sam would have to force a smile every time Peter mentioned his stupid new boyfriend, one that was probably tall and goofy. He wouldn't understand the way Peter loves films like Sam does. He wouldn't know how to dial Peter back when he was getting too in his head.

Sam's head was reeling. It was going to end, it was going to come crashing down pathetically and Sam was going to be hurt. And Peter would be fine.

If it was going to end, Sam may as well end it himself.

 

Usually, waking up to a text from Sam was a good thing.

But getting a text from Sam at 3am with just the words “we need to talk” didn’t feel like a good thing. 

“We need to talk” was always a bad sentence. It could mean any number of things. In this particular situation, it could mean “We’re three weeks away from starting college and we need to talk about whatever’s going on between us”. It could mean “I’m dying”. It could mean “I’ve actually hated you this whole time and I never wanna see you again”. 

But, a small voice in the back of his head thought. It could mean he feels the same way you do.

Peter supposed that it was at least partially true. There was a chance. A small, tiny, miniscule sliver of a chance...but still a chance.

He figured Sam would be okay with him just turning up. The two of them had often just shown up at each other’s houses with very little warning. It had never been a problem before.

But Peter was dimly aware of the fact that this wasn’t before. Whatever they were before, they were something different now. And maybe, just maybe, after this they’d be something different again. Maybe even something better.

He tried to quash the growing optimism he was feeling as he knocked on the door. 

Sam answered almost immediately. Like, it was weirdly fast. Almost like he’d been waiting by the door.

“Hi,” he said with a strained smile.

“Hey.”

They stood, staring at each other, for a few seconds before Peter said “Can I come in?”

“Oh, right, yeah, I...sorry, come in.”

Peter followed Sam to his bedroom, attempting to quell the warm feeling he got in his chest whenever they were together. He was supposed to be realistic, for Christ’s sake. He had to at least try not to get his hopes up.

Sam sat on the edge of his bed and Peter gingerly sat down next to him. They sat for a few seconds, staring straight ahead. Finally, Sam spoke.

“So, we really need to talk.” He paused. “About, you know, whatever this is.”

Peter nodded. He wanted more than anything to look at his best friend, to examine his expression to determine whether this was good or bad news. But he knew if he did, Sam would be able to read his face just as well, and then, Peter feared, he’d know everything he was feeling and hoping and dreading.

“Okay,” he finally managed to choke out.

“So, uh....” Sam cleared his throat before continuing. “This...thing...this has been..pretty good. You know, uhh...it’s been fun, don’t get me wrong...I just think…” He paused again before finally turning to look at Peter. “I just think...we need to...stop.” 

Was it possible for the world to stop and the start spinning at the same time? Could a person’s stomach rise and drop at the same time? Whether it was possible or not, that’s how the world was starting to feel. 

God, how the fuck was he supposed to respond to that? What infuriated Peter most was the fact that Sam's tone was so casual. This whole thing was supposed to be casual, he knew that but...it had been a lot more than that to him. Yet to Sam, it was just 'pretty good’, it was just 'fun’. It was nothing.

He tried to gather his thoughts together enough to form a coherent sentence.

“I.. okay… why exactly?” He croaked out, hating how small his voice sounded.

Sam shrugged, turning away from Peter again. “I guess...it served its purpose, you know? We’ve...practiced and improved. And we don’t really have a lot of time left anyway, I mean, it’s, what, three weeks?”

Three weeks. Three weeks until both of them would be leaving home, leaving Oceanside, leaving each other.  
Sam was still talking.  
“And it’s not like it meant anything, right? Like, we established that, it didn’t mean anything and…well, we’re gonna end up hooking up with other people in college anyways.”

Sam’s words hit Peter like a tonne of bricks.  
Sam’s tone sounded like he was joking but...he wanted to hook up with other people. Of course he did! Of fucking course he did. Like he’d said, that was the whole fucking point of this thing. Practice, and then just fucking throw away your best friend when you wanted to fuck someone else.

Peter could feel the beginnings of tears welling up in his eyes. God, that would just be the cherry on the cake, wouldn’t it? Bursting into tears over the end of a stupid non-relationship, how fucking pathetic was he?

He stood up abruptly. “I have to go.”

Sam stood up too. “What? Where are you going?”

“I have shit to do, okay Sam? My life doesn’t fucking revolve around you, you know.”

“What? Peter, what are you - “

“What does it look like? I’m leaving. I’ll see you around.”

As Peter opened the door to leave, he turned around one last time. “Have fun banging random guys at college.”

Maybe he was taking Sam’s words out of context a little. Maybe, just maybe, he was exaggerating a tiny bit. And maybe, it was stupid to feel so hurt over this. He knew what he was getting into. He shouldn’t be so upset.

He raced down Sam’s stairs, barely managing to say bye to his mom before closing the door maybe just a little too hard. Tears stinging his eyes, he never felt more stupid in all of his existence. Not even 10 minutes prior to this he thought there was a real chance of him and Sam getting together.  
Peter, naively, thought the one thing that would stand in their way was that they were attending different colleges. Peter wouldn’t have cared about the distance. USC, UCLA, they’re not that far. They could work out a system to see each other as often as possible. He really thought that the lingering touches, the stares, the cuddling, maybe it meant something. 

Peter made his way home, allowing tears to come out in the solitude of his own car. He never wanted to see Sam’s stupid fucking face ever again. 

By the end of the day, Sam had texted him, DM’d him, and called him God knows how many times.

He never responded.  
-  
By the seventh ignored call, Sam was starting to lose hope.

Around the time of the fourth call, he’d stopped leaving messages. Peter knew why he was calling, he wasn’t that dumb. Plus, he’d started crying uncontrollably and he wasn’t about to let Peter hear that.

Peter wasn’t responding to his calls, his texts, his DM’s, anything. He was almost desperate enough to get Gabi or Dylan to call for him.  
Almost. 

Sam really didn’t feel like explaining the situation to either of them though. They kept it a tight-lipped secret, hell they barely even mentioned it to each other outside of his bedroom.

Sam was sat by his bed, his hands gripped tightly in his hair, staring blankly at his phone. He didn’t know what to do. He knew that going over to Peter’s was a lost cause. He knew Peter was going to be stubborn for as long as he could muster. That petty bitch. 

There was a sudden knock on his door, and Sam jumped a little, having been so lost in his own head. 

His older sister, Lydia, opened the door, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket, frowning at the disheveled state of her brother. 

“What was that with Peter with earlier? He was here for like 5 or 10 minutes and then...it sounded like he stormed out?” She quirked a brow, waiting for an explanation. 

“Uh, yeah, we had a fight I guess. He’s not answering my calls or anything.” Sam shrugged, averting his gaze downward. If he didn’t want to explain it to Gabi or Dylan, he definitely didn’t want to explain it to his sister. They were pretty close, as far as siblings went, but, you know, it’s not exactly something you’d tell your sibling. 

She winced, nodding her head. “Yeah, that’s rough. Listen- Sam, relationships can be difficult, but you should try-”

“Uh, what.” Sam blurted, eyes going wide at his sister. He wasn’t even out to his family at this point- how did she, how could she possibly -

“Sam, I have ears.” She scoffed, plopping down on the bed beside him. “You guys are pretty quiet, but not that quiet.” she remarked, feeling a smirk grow at how mortified her brother looked. “Look- its fine, its fine. I don’t think anyone else heard you guys. It’s just the fact that our bedrooms are right beside one another.”

“I didn’t think it was possible to want to die any more than I do already, but, wow. Thanks for that.” He exaggerated his sigh, falling backwards onto his bed. He may as well be honest, if she knows that much. 

“We aren’t...together...”

“Wait- What?”

“It was like...a casual thing..? No strings attached?” he groaned, covering his face with a pillow, bracing himself for his sisters reaction. 

“Sam...that’s truly the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard..” Sam was surprised, she sounded more disappointed than anything else, and Sam didn’t know if he hated that more.

“I know! It was really fucking dumb and I shouldn’t have even let it happen in the first place! But we got.. carried away with it, I guess, and then - today, I stopped it. Because like, we’re going to college and that’ll just complicate things and Peter just like, freaked out and left? Like I barely got to talk to him he just stormed off!”

“Sam, you oblivious idiot, he obviously fucking likes you.”

Sam paused, lifting his face from the pillow. He stared up at the ceiling. It made sense. Why else would Peter get that mad. Fuck, he even made a stupid remark about how they were gonna hook up with other people in college.

Sam wanted to scream, but he held it in. Things had never felt so fucking complicated. 

“This is fucked.” He sighed, rolling over to face his sister. Lydia couldn’t help but feel sympathy for her younger brother, despite how idiotic he could be. She reached out to ruffle his hair, offering him a pitying smile. “Give him space, time. Try talking in a week and I’m sure he’ll come around.” 

Sam nodded weakly, pursing his lips. He could only hope that she was right. 

 

-  
She couldn’t have been more wrong.

Sam was angry at this point. Peter had even stopped ghosting Sam, just not reading his texts all together. The calls went straight to voicemail. Sam even went to Peter’s house twice, but not even Mrs Maldonado would come out to great him. It was just a week before they both left Oceanside for college, and Peter wouldn’t budge. At all. They’ve had fights before, Sam had hurt Peter before, but this reaction was beyond ridiculous.  
Sam let his pride waver. Desperation does that to you. He reached out to both Gabi and Dylan, trying to get them to talk to Peter for him. Gabi tried, but nothing worked, and Dylan straight up just ghosted Sam too. It was so fucking unfair. 

He gave up, eventually, deciding to just try and enjoy the remaining days he had left in Oceanside, even if that meant without Peter. 

The night before they were leaving, Sam sent Peter one last text. It felt like a goodbye. Sam was beyond defeated at this point, not even expecting Peter to look at it. 

Sam: hi. we probably won’t be able to see each other before we leave so i guess just wanted to say goodbye?? or good luck?? or both?? i dont know. see ya

He sent it, and placed his phone on the nightside table. Sam, despite trying to enjoy himself, was miserable without Peter. He was dreading college, but it had to be better than this.  
His eyes widened when he heard his phone ding almost instantly, grabbing for as quickly as he could, as if it would somehow vanish before he could get to it. 

Peter: yeah you too. bye 

Sam didn’t know whether he should cry or laugh. Two weeks of ghosting and that’s all Peter had to say? He typed out a response, bitterness flooding his brain, his thumbs moving quicker than his brain.  
Sam: haha yeah. hopes its good for u man. i’m definitely going to have so much fun banging ** random ** dudes. 6 years of friendship n this is how u wanna end it ??? fine. fuck you peter.

Peter: 👍

Yeah. Peter could go fuck himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Over the course of writing this fic, we've been thinking about how cool and almost poetic it is that two girls from Australia and Ireland can write a story together in real time, based on an American dick documentary. Technology is incredible!  
> We have been working on this fic for a while now and we both really love it and we hope you love it too!  
> Big thanks to the AV discord, y'all are amazing and we love you.
> 
> our tumblrs:  
> Lauryn: theonewherelaurynhasablog  
> Rachel: petemaldonado
> 
> title from better for me by Fake Laugh


End file.
